Pulled in so many directions, I forget my first priority is my health.
Category: reflection
A Note on Feelings of Uselessness
Feeling inadequate is a normal response to stress. Insecurity tells me I’m useless— survival instincts becoming pathological, but the original process is natural. Self doubt is a tool we’ve forgotten how to use, forced to be so far removed from ancestral ways. We’ve lost some of the wild predators but also lost our sense of … Continue reading A Note on Feelings of Uselessness
I Hide From People, I Hide From Myself
Where I go, when I do what I do, when I live how I live, where I go is here— inhabiting my body willingly. When I’m offering my effort to the world, I’m accepting the connection between my internal monologue and my physical flesh. I work with my hands. I’m here in my hands, my … Continue reading I Hide From People, I Hide From Myself
The Substantial Presence of Love
Love is a potent experience of positive attachment. It is an intensity of being. A bond, a state, an emotion, a thought, an instinct, and much more, affection encompasses many ‘metaphysical substances’. It is a substance which fills these intangible but descriptive nouns, these words which become vessels for love to exist within. It is … Continue reading The Substantial Presence of Love
Is What It Is
Nothing I write has been appealing to me, even grateful as I am that I can finally move my dominant hand properly after spraining all three joints of my forefinger. It’s been a month and my mental health has been poorer than usual, but life is getting hectic and isn’t going to wait for me … Continue reading Is What It Is
Jaybird Joy
For a warm moment the pressure lifts. I’m learning to allow myself the full experience of happiness, without giving all my attention away to intrusive thoughts. They’ve been heard out, accepted as part of my reality, and now it’s time to let go. I’m at peace watching birds out my window. Joy will come regularly … Continue reading Jaybird Joy
Sacred Simplicity
Ornate thought compliments many topics but some states of mind are more conductive than others in the realm of self improvement. I’m prone to lengthy in-depth rumination which ultimately brings me no conclusion. My opinions bear several definitions of productivity but above all else, I’m found asking myself, “Is this necessary? Does this sustain me? … Continue reading Sacred Simplicity
Encouraged (Isolation)
My restraining order against her has been expired for years and I don’t need another one, yet she still haunts my life and fosters discouragement within me. How to rebuke discouragement? Are we driven by praise? Pride? Regret? Why keep trying? What is discouragement? Perhaps a mild paranoia, a sense of shame, embarrassment— cures are … Continue reading Encouraged (Isolation)
Grooming
[CW: CSA] Children are influenced by the subtle and loud alike. Most adults are aware of this powerful adaptive energy, the vulnerability of such malleability, and some use it to their sickening advantage. Children don’t understand. Without their own experience of the world, children are heavily influenced by their guardians and caretakers. Parents, relatives, teachers, … Continue reading Grooming
The Renegade Thought
My instincts usually order me to close down and build up my protection, but there are urges to disobey and leave myself vulnerable. We all have our habitual thought process and propensities. We also have those triple turncoat traitorous thoughts which actually lead us to a better way of being. Time and effort is needed … Continue reading The Renegade Thought
Sustaining Practice 