My instincts usually order me to close down and build up my protection, but there are urges to disobey and leave myself vulnerable. We all have our habitual thought process and propensities. We also have those triple turncoat traitorous thoughts which actually lead us to a better way of being.
Time and effort is needed to identify intrusive thoughts or destructive urges, so easily we sabotage ourselves but I’ve learnt to recognize my own inner voice. It’s the one we often avoid most, or at least I personally used to. Occasionally it pops in and says, ‘I haven’t seen Casper in awhile, I miss them’ and urges me to wherever my fiancé is, or ‘my stomach is telling me I’m hungry’, or ‘I’m feeling a sudden wash of deep sadness’. Renegade thoughts pierce through any concentration or distraction. We can ignore them, misidentify or misjudge them, or heed their advice. I had to learn to choose and not follow the sabotager within, the critic, the self abuser, the goblin mastermind behind our poor choices and negative behaviours.
What’s your renegade thought? I’m grateful for mine.
Sustaining Practice 