Losing the Present in Investigating Our Past

Attempting to make sense is a primeval reaction, to not understand is the darkness delivering danger. We fight back. Contending with the chaos and scope of our unknowing, we build fires and learn to speak. We feel a semblance of safety. When we don’t understand we feel ourselves lost, alone, deep in the forest with no bearings or skills for survival. In life, we encounter experiences that strip us of our ability to rationalize or comprehend, ‘why, how’. Our security is stolen from us.

Always, we can find a safe place of radical acceptance, ‘the world doesn’t make sense and I will still be ok’. With the unlimited extent of the unfathomable, there is also boundless potential. Fate will fling crisis and horror but we will always be capable of dodging the felling blow. Consider the void of the incomprehensible to also be the space between you and your downfall. For every moment, action, situation that escapes any chance of truly understanding the hows and whys, there is an equally illogical chance for miracles. Every nonsensical negative is balanced in the cosmos by an impossible positive, in the temperance of chaos. 

Lost in the night, it’s easier to bring yourself back to safety if there’s a motivating support structure looking out for your well being. We grew gregarious to take care of one another. Our evolution realized that we are stronger when building social bonds. There is comfort, advice, and empathy all around us to be found. If you find yourself especially isolated, taking a risk and asking for help is the next step. Screaming out in the forest is terrifying because you can attract danger just as well as aid, but know that if you rub your eyes and focus hard you’ll find the flashlight glow in the distance to direct your plea to.

Many of us were born abandoned in the forest, growing up without safety or reassurance. Once we’ve found our own way out to a meadow of understanding, we might feel tempted to return to the forest and try to apply logic to our experiences or hunt for the string that ties everything together, but often we won’t be successful.

There is empowerment in uncovering what context and details you can, but you must be willing to surrender your desire to fully comprehend. We think finding that shining thread will lead us back out to a more peaceful clearing but instead, often we wander aimlessly still searching for the sense we couldn’t make. There must be an answer for why this has all happened, there must be a missing puzzle piece that will complete the picture, but we won’t find it. Easily, we may become obsessed with returning to the same forest over and over searching for metaphors, instead of enjoying our times of peace before inevitably finding ourselves lost in a new tangled treescape.

There is more to life than investigating the past. Understanding and accepting your history allows you to become circumspect, grounded, capable of holding your chin high. Losing yourself to obsession, over thinking and over analyzing, means losing out on the gains of survival and growth. You’re alive, you’re learning, you can’t repress or compartmentalize your experiences with crisis but the drastic opposite is as unproductive. 

Maybe everything happens for a reason, but there’s more worth in learning to keep yourself safe and secure through the happening than deciphering the cause for random calamity. There will always be more we can do to keep ourselves safe but nothing can protect us from the future. Knowing yourself and what you require in feeling secure through struggle will ground you. You will find confidence to always find yourself again after a journey alone through the wild woods. 

You’re fighting for a reason, to live a life where the past doesn’t define your present or future. Aspirations aren’t sullied by your secrets or memories, especially if you can accept the realities of them. You are here now. You are meant to keep going forward.

Check out Digging Deeper for more.

4 thoughts on “Losing the Present in Investigating Our Past

  1. Pingback: Anger – JAYPANSY

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