Humans are designed to be selfish, and to overcome self obsession. Protectively we focus on ourselves. We coddle our insecurities, cautious to disturb our self hatred. Despite this, by nature of insecurity we are also equipped to heal and combat. Our body and soul desires freedom, the home of our selfish self consciousness is not designed to be sustainable, which is why by nature we gently tend to the unstable insecurity. Everything could easily come crashing down.
Bravery is needed to avoid being selfish. Confidence in your morals and kindness, knowing that you’re putting in effort, you must be brave to boldly defy insecurity. You don’t need to be cautious, your insecurity is kept in a jail, you are not kept in a jail of insecurity. Continue fighting for control.
Our interpersonal relationships can help pull us out of self absorption. Being considerate of others and treating yourself with the same respect you wish to show them will build confidence pushing against self consciousness. Throughout life there will be countless blows to your confidence but how you react determines whether you’ve fed insecurity or bravery.
I am at my worst when I’m overcome by selfish anxiety. Unconfident people may find themselves so self-regarding that they are inconsiderate to others. Yesterday I found myself at odds with my fiancé because of self consciousness, unthinking I invalidated the hard work they had put into cleaning our kitchen that day because I was insecure about how I’d struggled all week to chip away at the layers of neglect in that room. I was both feeling needlessly unappreciated, as if a victory had been stolen from me, and insecure of how long I’d spent and how difficult it had been for me. Instead of being encouraging and proud, I was distant and snappy. Quickly I addressed how I was feeling and the insecurity that was warping my perception, and while it took us both a moment to let our defenses fall, we soon realized that self absorbed thinking was robbing us both of a moment of confidence.
Instead of revelling in cooperation and teamwork that brought us success, we had put our insecurities in a boxing ring together. A part of my life that has always brought me pride is our ability to resolve conflict, a testament to years of individual therapy and deep stable love. Being able to communicate and apologize is essential in any relationship, but also in building belief in oneself.
Our species became gregarious out of necessity. We become more than the sum of our insides when we express ourselves and receive expression from others. Whatever we feel we lack, we can grow.